Depression is most dangerous when ‘hidden.’
Why hide it?
Perhaps so, especially if it is a man who is depressed.
Possibly, if the person is in a ‘toxic’ situation, at work, at home, or both.
Sometimes depression is the result of something that happened in a person’s childhood. Whatever the cause depression is dangerous. Suicides among Australian males have been escalating in the last few years.
Depression does not always lead to suicide
But many times it does.
An article on news.com.au headlines “TODAY in Australia, six men will take their own lives.” It says later, “But the one thing they have in common is that almost all will leave behind grief-struck family, friends and colleagues who had no idea they were struggling.”
Did you see the last phrase in the previous sentence? “Who had no idea they were struggling.”
The article answers that too… “That’s because men who die by suicide are significantly less likely to have sought help.”
Find the rest of the article click here to read it
Why this subject?
Because I was pondering the intense trials and problems so many of my friends are going through.
There are people with cancer, others with extreme pain, and many mourning the loss of a spouse, a baby, or other family member. Or one of the many who care for someone who has forgotten them. Mourning the Living
In addition there are the ‘emotional’ stresses… being ‘dumped’ by a boy or girlfriend, being bullied, serious health problems, not to mention a whole host of other reasons.
Then, when having a quick look at the family Facebook page, I noticed this ‘meme,’ and it brought to mind the fact that perhaps the reason that men do not admit to suffering from depression is the ‘man up’ phrase.
Depression is a thief
Even if it does not result in suicide, it robs people of…
- Interest in daily activities.
It can cause
- Appetite or weight changes. …
- Sleep changes.
- Anger or irritability.
- Reckless behavior.
In exchange, it gives feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, often made worse by anything on the foregoing lists.
Talking to someone with depression
Do you want to? I mean really want to.
A greeting here in Australia often used, is ‘how ‘r’ u mate?’ Most times it is not a question, just a greeting, and the response is supposed to be ‘good, thanks.’
If you do not have the time, or are not sure you could handle what the person says… don’t ask. You could make the person feel even worse.
- Be ready – do you have the time?
- Be prepared – are you ready for a difficult conversation when you might not have the answers?
- Pick your moment – have you chosen somewhere comfortable to talk, and an appropriate time? (There is no use asking when you, or the other person is rushing to leave for work, or trying to complete a task.)
A current TV set of ads shows a depressed man, and then someone who is concerned and asks, ‘Are you okay?’ The reply is a weak, “Yeah, mate.” In one of the set of ads the other person assures the depressed man that he is ‘here for you if you ever want to talk.’ There is nothing ‘pushy’ just an offer.
Identifying a problem
An interesting website is https://www.ruok.org.au/ There is a short video with little ‘scenarios’ showing changes of behavior.
As it said earlier, do you have the time? Another question could be, ‘are you interested in the answer?’
Don’t present the person you are concerned about with a long list of reasons why you are concerned. Ask a simple question… Do you want (need) to talk?
“I am here. I will listen.”
If you do listen, and have no idea how to help, it is okay to say so. You could always offer to help the person find a solution. Or it may be that all the person needs is a ‘listening ear,’ someone who WILL listen.
If you have the time, and interest you could offer to be…”here for you again if you want to talk.”
The gift of your time and your concern is no small thing,