A Season of Losses

Loss and loneliness

A dear friend and I had an afternoon out recently. As we walked and talked she summed up our discussion by saying, ‘It’s a season of losses.’

We were not talking about the loss of important people in our lives, although that is a consideration.

What was she summarizing? Read on…

Perhaps you recognize some of these losses?

Loss of speed

The days when you could speed through whatever you needed to do are gone. Just one of the losses.

You might have lost your mobility, or find it greatly reduced.

Feeling no longer needed?

Where once you might have pushed a baby pram, now you push a shopping trolley.

Loss of function as we age

Or… you walk alone.

loss of memory

Do you struggle to remember things?

I have heard jokes, “Over the years I have stored so much in my mind it’s hard to recall it.” (Or a variation of it.)

If you are older, or left behind by technology, you are not alone.

Some things are not losses.

So, you cannot use a ‘smart phone’ – or perhaps computers leave you confused. That’s fine, you have skills that the people using the smart phones and computers probably do not have.

If you are older…

Did you ever make your own clothes?

Did you knit, or crochet?

Can you cook a roast meal from ‘scratch?’

What about baking? Do you remember beating the butter and sugar as the start of a cake, then adding the rest of ingredients?


baking skills

You might not do it now, but it was a skill you learnt when you were young.

Visibility losses

Your eyesight might not be as good as it used to be, but that is not what I meant.

Many older people remark, “It’s like I am invisible.” When you are young, you are likely to be noticed, even attract attention. When you are older it is like you are slowly greying out.

Turn the losses into pluses.

Enjoy the fact you do not have to rise night after night to attend to a baby, then cope with that same baby during the day.

Appreciate all the knowledge you have accumulated over the years. Yes, there is a vast amount of information on the Internet… but guess what – you have to have a computer, iPad, or smart phone PLUS electricity to find it.

You have ‘life experience’ not something you learned from a book, or an online course. Such learning does not give you practical skills.

You are a living history book.

It is possible a school or library would appreciate you sitting down talking to children or answering questions.

What about teaching someone to knit, sew, embroider, bake, cook – or just be someone who listens, or smiles at strangers. (They usually smile back.)

Losses are individual – and for some the loss of health is a huge challenge, but, do a ‘stock-take’ and see what you can still do. You might be pleasantly surprised. If not, change your expectations of yourself and do another stock-take. Every one of us has value.

Musing on a friend’s comment,