Hidden feelings about ourselves can color the way we live our lives. This is why I chose the image for this blog. It is not about hidden feelings for someone else, it is about those secret fears and doubts about ourselves, the ones that can shape our lives.
Hidden feelings? In the 1st century AD
There is nothing new under the sun.
(Last line of Ecc 1:9)
Elizabeth lived with the belief she was not good enough. By the time she found out what had really happened, she was a grandmother.
She was ambivalent about her decision to find out the truth. Did she want to know? Or did she not want to know?
That is as much as I am going to say about Shadow of the Past, which is Elizabeth’s story. What it does bring to my mind is the fact there are so many people in our day and age who have been emotionally crippled by something in their past.
Oh, I should mention that before this novella began, Elizabeth had lost some family members when she converted to Christianity from Judaism. Her upbringing had been Jewish. (That is not the Shadow of the Past.)
Fast forward to the 21st century AD
How many people have secret insecurities or hidden feelings about their worth, fears that they are not good enough?
I am talking about people who have somewhere in their lives a secret lack of confidence, a hidden belief that he or she was counted unworthy in the past and has internalized it. This colors relationships, but at the same time it can be hidden so deeply that the person functions so well, no one else knows.
That is loneliness because it is a secret. Much of the time, the feelings are hidden so deep inside it is unnoticed, part of the persons life. Then comes a challenge which awakens it with all the power it once had. Sometimes more powerful.
Speak about it!
If you cannot speak about it, write about it. Write out your feelings, even if you delete it, or tear the paper up afterwards. Or you can publish it, like Susan Scott did. She describes her book as a ‘diary of discovery.’ They are letters to God.
Hidden feelings need permission
They need permission – they can stay hidden, buried in the deep caverns, or they can be acknowledged. The stairs work both ways. Leave the feelings and fears down in the depths, or bring them up to the light.
It is not easy, but it can be done.
Victims do not need to stay victims
I realize in this post I have mainly focused on emotional factors… emotional abuse. However, there are many other abuse issues. They are not new either. But they hurt, and physical and sexual abuse have an emotional component.
If you have been a victim of abuse…
I can recommend Brenda Hammon’s writings. I met her and talked with her at the Readers’ Favorite Book Awards in Florida three years ago, and again the next year.
One of her books you might want to start with is…
Sacred Hearts Rising: Breaking the Silence One Story at a Time
Part of the blurb…
It takes courage to share our stories, and there are 25 brave women sharing their journeys with you, some have told their secrets for the first time, and some are retelling their past, but every author tells you how they made it through. The stories vary from abuse, mental illness, suicide to cancer survival.
You will find inside:
– The silent voices of women who decide that being silent was not their answer to a better life.
You can find it here, as well as on the Canadian site, which is her home site.
Nothing new under the sun?
No. However, today we have opportunities to deal with hidden feelings that were not available in the 1st Century AD.
I hope you find help in one or both of the books mentioned.
Still on pre-order… just, Elizabeth’s story, Shadow of the Past was the most difficult to write. I too had hidden feelings and, although different from Elizabeth’s secret belief, mine hovered in the background during the writing.
You might like to read a previous post on bitterness and resentment. What you choose does affect our lives and choices. Let us all choose life, and hope.